Hi world !!!!
It has nearly been a year since I last blogged, can you believe it?? I guess I suck at it right? Yeah thought so. So today I felt the need to really really REALLY blog about a topic that has been on my mind since I hit puberty , BOYS. yes boys. Those species of the human race that we females (or at least most of us) are designed to perpetually lust after. We can't help it. That's just how we are. Adam and Eve, yin and yang and all of that stuff. It's natural. BUT there are some times when we tend to go a little bit overboard with our feelings and make some decisions we would never have made in our right senses, which unfortunately, most of us have lost. When I see girls on social networks pouring out their hearts about what they dream the perfect boyfriend looks like, acts like and talks like, I have an overwhelming feeling to drag them by the ear and give them a very very good spanking 😡😤. Yes, it's that serious. Now, I'm not the best at giving advice nor am I the most experienced relationship guru but over some time I have come to collect some valuable information that I'm sure will be of help to young girls riding in the roller coaster of hormones and emotions.
COULD THIS BE LOVE ??
Tweet: so I met this guy through a friend of a friend and we talked on the phone forever and two days later he came over to my place and we made out/had sex and we lay on the bed and talked about our fears and innermost thoughts. I think Im falling in love with him 😁
My response : sorry is this out of a twilight movie or something ? GIRL GROW UP!
I blame Hollywood, I really do. Y'all need to watch some Nigerian movies I swear you'll be wiser about love cos those niggas don't give a shit about all that fufu lame romantic shit. The only romance you be betting is going round a tree or feeding each other ice cream or something, it doesn't get better than that (lol sorry for going ghetto 😁) . It's just too sad that many girls base their relationships on Hollywood romance and what they see on TV. You know, the guy standing in the rain knocking on the girls door, the girl defying all reasoning and going with the guy to where the sky meets the earth, that perfect moment when your one true love kisses you and then you know that's where your heart is meant to be and bla bla and shit like that. Trust me I've read them all, from Stephanie Meyer to Daniele Steele and those oh-so-naughty Mills and Boons and Silhouette pages that we reveal only at night and in the secrecy of our bed covers. It's all nonsense. Every single one of them. And one of the things that I learnt from doing Grade 10 literature is that an aspect of fiction that can never happen in real life is Romance. IMO romance is simply an enactment of the way we think things were but aren't and might never be. This is simply someone's ideas, dreams and passions put on paper.
So where is she going with this? You ask
Back to the tweet,
Things that are wrong with it
1. You can't talk on the phone for two days and let a guy into your bed, like TF? What happened to the 90 day rule from Think Like A Man? Y'all forget that too soon? He can't get the cookie without working for it honey. Like he just CYANT .
2. You can't be falling in love after two days and sex baby. This ain't Vegas. Get your head straight. He's probably just paying you back for the great sex you guys just had. I'm sure in his head he's like ' I listened to her moan, I might as well listen to her speak'. Love is way more than good convo and sex. It's deeper than that boo boo.
3. You met him through a friend of a friend. Nothing wrong with that but sweetie you were meant to do a freaking BACKGROUND CHECK on the guy. Yes it's that deep. This is a total stranger. You don't know anything about him. He might be having some baby mamas he hasn't paid any child support for, might be in a gang, might be a rapist/serial killer/ alien or worse might be carrying some STD's for crying out loud! Like seriously, two days ? Nah booboo, just nah.
4. Boys can say whatever you want to hear( heck some of them got lines for days) to get in your pants. They can be Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, you name it! They'll play the part just to have you. It's not their fault. They just want to explore and conquer. So that guy talking about inner most thoughts and feelings is trying to get to your innermost parts honey😉
There are a lot of things we need to clarify about relationships:
1. SEX is not the most important factor in a relationship, LOVE is. And some ignoramuses might say that sex is a way of showing you love someone. Well that's all HORSE shit. Because there is good sex and bad sex , beautiful girls and ugly girls, big dick and small dick but there is only one LOVE. So ladies if you're in a relationship where a guy is demanding sex, you might want to think twice because if he gets the next best sex, your love struck ass is over and done with.
2. Some people misuse the word LOVE in some scenarios where they are not meant to be. Okay let's get this straight, there is no such thing as LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT okay?! Nada. Zilch. Zero. Mbanu. You are simply attracted to that person or you lust after that person but you're not IN LOVE with that person okay ? If you can take a bullet for that person the first day you met them then sure you're in love or simply crazy but if not, get over it. Great now that we got thAt cleared up, we can move on. I'm sure you're saying ' okay smarty pants what is love then ? 😒' well to be very honest I didnt much believe in love till I read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 which says ' love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered , it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always
protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails ...' (New International Version). Now I don't want to go all preachy on you guys but if you think about it all rather other versions of what Love is has been tainted by Romance and fictional events. This looks like the real deal doesn't it? 🙏🙏 . This explanation of Love made me realize that many if us have never experienced love. I know it feels like an awful lot to take in but that's actually what 'falling in love' is best explained as. Sex is the child of love and not the other way around. I personally feel that sex should come way later. For me marriage is my insurance for sex just in case that nigga wants to pull a fast one 😉😉. So before you say those three letter words to him, think about it, is this how I feel ?
Oops , I've come to the end of todays post, stay tuned for part 2 of the 'baby girl don't be naive' series. Nollywood right ? I know !😝😂 . Toodles! Till next time lovelies
P.s: I promise it won't take another year to finish this 😄
